We are strange animals. We can imagine things that we are unable to actually comprehend. Until life shows us what death is, absence is, we can imagine it, but we cannot comprehend it.
Macheath died at 4:25 PM on August 28th, 2012.
Until then, I did not know I was alone. Until then, I had not been alone. She and I were living one life together, and so her disappearance is the ripping out of part of my self, my ongoing life. I look for her at my feet, and she is gone forever.
I will never be as blindly lucky as I was when I found her. I cannot hope for it.